|
Stand Up Comedy Jokes
Posted
Jan. 28, 2010
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Demetri
Martin
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my
fishburger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner.
Lynda
Montgomery
Having a male gynecologist is like going to an auto mechanic who
doesn’t own a car.
Carrie Snow
Think of how stupid the average person is, and
realize half of them are stupider
than that.
George Carlin
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept
covering me up.
Rodney
Dangerfield
I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one
could drive.
Steven Wright
A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by
a fat cop if you run.
Dennis Miller
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why
several of
us died of tuberculosis
Jack Handey
What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat
blows, a Republican sucks.
Lewis Black
I love my FedEx guy 'cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know
it. And he's always on time.
Mitch Hedberg
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
They put my name in all the papers, calling me a racist.
And it hurt, ya know? As a Jew, you know, as a member of the Jewish
community, I was really concerned, you know, that we were losing
control of the media.
Sarah
Silverman
How to Link
to this Page
If you would like to link to this page from your website, simply cut
and
paste the following code to your website.
It will appear on your website like this:
Stand Up Comedy Jokes
|
|